Airline Wisdom

Recently I've been able to witness a very common occurrence no less than 6 times in less than 10 days in one form or another:



No, it's not very exciting. And  yes, I mostly ignored it. But after hearing it time after time over the course of one's life there are certain things that begin to make sense in more than just the airplane scenario. 

Thank you Elder Uchtdorf.

For instance, that whole part about making sure that your air mask is on securely before you help anyone else. There are some who may see that as silly or even selfish. How hard is it to quickly put a child's air mask on before your own. Isn't that a bit selfish or even dangerous to the child to deprive them of oxygen just so you can get your oxygen first? But there is wisdom here. How can we possibly help a helpless child if we ourselves fall into unconsciousness before we're able to help them? What if they're fear is so great that we have to waste precious airless moments struggling with them in order to put their mask on, and then keep it on?

All kinds of scenarios. All kinds of outcomes. But the basic message is that you have to be in a position of strength in order to give strength to others. If you don't have it to begin with, how can you give it to anyone else?

Lately, that's how I feel. I have no strength. I am weak, weak, weak, tired, tired, tired.

I'm doing everything I can to get back to a position of strength but I think it's going to take some time.

It's hard for me to be patient with myself. I don't want to go back to the doctor and say, "I need more drugs." I really don't think that's the answer anyway. Maybe it's the whole patience thing...yeah, not so good at that.

I take Xanax one night and get 8 hours, I feel gritty eyed in the morning and a bit hung over but it was sleep. I take it the next night and get 6 hours with a couple of toss and turn hours afterwards and a draggy day. I thought I'd take my friend's advice and try 1/2 Ambien at bed time and if I wake up during the night, take the other. It worked for 2 nights but last night I took 1/2, never fell asleep so I took the second half at about two and skimmed the surface of sleep like a skeeter bug. The surface tension of sleep was just too hard to penetrate even with drugs. I understand the a little soap will soften the surface tension of water so that fruit flies will drown...

My brain won't let me sleep. My eyes jiggle in their sockets like nervous twitchy bugs when I try to keep them closed, yet if I open them so that they can fall closed naturally my eyelids hang there at half mast, limp and useless, feeling tired and stupid with my eyeballs hanging like dull red moons just beyond the sails of sleep.

My hot flashes and night sweats have increased uncomfortably, in frequency and intensity, which doesn't help.

I have a lot of questions to ask someone after this life.

Most of them begin with 'Why?'

On the upside: I have a most patient, kind, supportive caring, strong husband who's trying desperately to help me put on my oxygen mask.

I'm going to try some relaxing yoga before bed tonight. I hear that helps.